Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Things *Some Asian People (and white dudes with Asian Fetishes) Like #24 Strange Japanese Sex Fantasies
Ok, for the uptight Asian reader wearing a Banana Republic pencil skirt, now would be the time to hide under the cubicle and wait till tomorrow's post. For the rest of us, it's time to face reality. Asian porn is awkward as a mother fugger. Girls like Lucy Lee and Ava Devine take the hunger for pipe to levels it really never needs to go. They say things that make me think, "Damn, I hope this girl doesn't have grandparents cause it's gonna be one hell of an awkward Lunar New Year at this household."Whether it's Chinese, Korean, Indian, or Japanese porn, the traditional outfits and awkward rituals before the smash fest make for strange cinema, especially since the girls all look 14.
Yet, after 16 some years of research and analysis, I have to say, Japanese Porn takes the cake. I can't even say I like or can watch this stuff. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person. For real, I think fear factor got its idea from watching bukakke films. It shouldn't even be categorized in porn. There should be a section at the Adult Video Store titled, "Stupid Human Tricks" for all the Japanese porn. The weirdest thing is that considering all the crazy things shown in Japanese porn, they decide to blur out pubic hair. Like showing lil' pubert is worse than having mayonnaise martinis.
But, crazy bukakke is just one aspect of the awkwardness. There's also Japanese Bondage and the nastiest of all: shit eating. I've never seen this or 2 girls one cup, but from what I've heard, you probably can't eat for a month after watching. Of all people, my aunt was wandering around Tokyo and saw a strange door with a bouncer outside. He wouldn't let her in, but she insisted on getting a peek. Eventually, she slid the guy $20 just for a glance, what did she see? PEOPLE EATING SHIT. I kid you not, there are underground shit bistros in Japan serving Dookie Sandwiches. I have never met anyone that likes it, but the prices are exorbitant and they are in business. Thus, #24 with a skidmark: Strange Japanese Sex Fantasies.