Thursday, March 27, 2008

#18 Jews



From following Jewish footsteps into the Deli business, dry cleaning, and investment banking to sharing Christmas Dinner together, Asians and Jews got a lot of love. We both use the Lunar Calendar, we find each other tolerable, and if we're forced to do interracial business deals, there's no one else we'd rather sit down with.

Both Asians and Jews have very similar family characters as well. Frequently, children are berated by OCD mothers and ethnocentric grandmothers who LOVE making embarrassing cultural commentary when our "goy" friends are around. At the moment of birth for both groups, the OCD mom wants to see their children rocking the best Bergdorf Goodman has to offer underneath an Ivy League Issue Cap and Gown in approximately 22 years. 3 years later, they should add another graduation ceremony, and 6 months later, they should marry either an Asian or Jew and have kids, or, adopt them from China and move to the Upper East Side. This is the Jewish-Asian-American Dream.

Our mothers share a dream, our grandparents share a distrust of black people, and we both love Char Siu Pork (non-kosher Jews that is), which my man Peter Shapiro claims is, "The food of the Jews". Additionally, Asians respect chip stackers who keep the money in the neighborhood a la Squirrel Hill, Pittsburgh, P.A. With all this taken into consideration, it's safe to say, if there was no Confucian Analects, we'd be following the Torah. Lastly, on a semi-personal note, we are both feeder races for The University of Michigan, shout out to all my Zingerman's fans! (It's semi-personal cause I was the one Asian w/o grades to go to Umich, but my girl did, so I guess I am attending vicariously)

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

??? wtf

Leora said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
muttslikeme said...

This is my take on the Asian Jewish thing http://tinyurl.com/asianwomen adopted or not.
It's good we all get past the stereotypes.

Anonymous said...

you forgot, share the same dick girth.

Anonymous said...

This is false, asians do not like jews. Asians just dislike them less.

jamie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

me gusta

Anonymous said...

Jews r Satan worshippers. Read their bible exodus 23:23. Number 31 and judges 21

Anonymous said...

Lol @ the last commenter

Anonymous said...

I second that lol. It makes so much nonsense. :p

Anonymous said...

I second that lol. I makes so much nonsense :p

Anonymous said...

NO. Jews control the media and push hate factors against asians. PLEASE STOP TROLLING ALL THESE NON SENSE. THANK YOU.

Anonymous said...

"you forgot, share the same dick girth." Here is an asian guy with 7 inches length 5 inches girth dick. Sharing the same girth with anyone who also having 5 inches girth dick.

Anonymous said...

The Jews control the media and have been spreading their hate against Asian men for decades.

Anonymous said...

"The Jews control the media and have been spreading their hate against Asian men for decades."

Indeed, emasculation of the Asian man.