Thursday, March 20, 2008

#9 Mini-Things

Above is the image of a "mini" or "teacup" Chinese Imperial (a.k.a. Shih Tzu). For those who don't know, Asians like "mini" and "teacup" sized objects. According to the National Association of Frat Boy Scientists, the reason for this preference is the same reason they offer for all preferences: phallic characteristics. Stay with me... Cultures model useful items in accordance with the defining characteristic of the male genitalia in the particular culture. All designs are inspired by and modeled after the proportions and characteristics of the genitalia.


For Westerners, items such as film cameras or pasta are symbolic of the genitalia: above average length, probing nature (zoom function on film camera), and susceptible to limp noodle syndrome (spaghetti). For East Asians, there is nothing definitive about the genitalia except the size. In other words, "mini" is the sole and defining characteristic. Whether the Frat Boy Scientists are correct or not, the results can't be denied. East Asia is obsessed with "mini" and "teacup" sized items:

Mini-feet a.k.a. bound feet
Teacup Dogs
Short-grain rice
Asian gymnasts
Plastic Miniatures
Mini-Penis a.k.a. Asian Fertilizer

P.S. The dog is ning's new friend, Gizmo, and it took a dump in my Scottie Pippen Flights today.


Anonymous said...

wow.. this entry's mad racist

Anonymous said...

all the entries are racist. this blog is absolutely ridiculous. if we like these 'asian' things, we get mocked. if we like 'white' things (such as 'white' fashion or we dye our hair) then we get branded as hating our own cultures, wannabes and ugly. we can't even be smart or then jealous people start screaming about how we had no childhood, we suffered abuse and grow up with skills but no creativity. even prodigies don't receive praise-they get pity parties for being 'forced', just because they're asian. then we are labelled as dirty, disgusting savages because a few of us eat interesting meats (e.g. dog), yet eating snails is chic, french and elegant.

Anonymous said...

haha, funny how dog meat gets rationalized as being interesting. If your poor living in the slums of north korea, meat is meat. Asians are labelled as savages for eating dog meat because a majority of the world views dogs/cats as pets. If you have the means to eat meat, westerners frown on you for choosing dog meat because they see you eating their pets asian or not.