Monday, March 24, 2008

#13 Fighting Over Provincial Pride a.k.a. Complaining About Fukienese People

To my left is an image of Fukienese babies. They don't know it, but soon, these babies will be thrown into a bitter civil war between Fukienese and all other Asians.

While many enjoy lumping us all into one category (*cough* like this stupid blog does), Asians actually can't stand their neighbors. We have a lot of Provincial and Ethnic Pride. While the rest of the world hears about China v. Tibet, N. Korea v. S. Korea, and Japan v. Everyone Else, most of the in-fighting happens on a more micro level. EVERYONE HATES FUKIENESE PEOPLE. Japanese, Indian, Korean, Vietnamese, whatever. We may dislike each other, but it is universally agreed by all that at least we're not Fukienese. For a brief history on these people, just understand Fujian is frequently referred to as "8 parts mountain, 1 part water, 1 part farmland." It was the least developed province in China until the 1950s and many Fukes rowed their asses to America. This is the beginning of the dislike towards Fukes.

When Fukes came to America, they proliferated the production of cheap, MSG ridden, oily Asian food. Think Egg Foo Young, Sub Gum ("combo meal of liver, kidney, pig nose, and whatever else happens to be on the floor at the butcher shop"), and Intestines with Thin Brown Noodle, which I must admit is quite good. They did anything they could for a buck and many stereotypes are still here today because of Fuke Activities, such as, selling you a t-shirt with one sleeve or a digital radio that only happens to work on AM channels. But, they got their paper.

Meanwhile, back on the Mainland, Xiamen, a city in Fujian, has become a booming economic area and Fukienese are making it rain left and right. They get money and boy do they get stupid. In Asian culture, we call winning the lottery and spending it on a giant golden lion medallion the next day, Fuke Rich. You can't blame these guys, they've had a grand awakening the last century and in many ways could be viewed as the No Limit Soldiers of Asia: Stupid, dirty, and filthy stinkin' rich.

But honestly, this hate has to stop. Fukienese people laid a lot of the groundwork for Asian Immigration into America and they also happened to preserve more ecological resources than a lot of other areas in Asia. There's a reason for the Fukienese stink, they're nature lovers. It's funny to attack your neighbors, but the generations before us took it to levels it never needed to go. Can't we all just get along and stop hating the Fukes for gettin' paper? The next time you think about uttering any prejudices about your Fukienese brothers and sisters, stop, and think of the wonderful chicken feet in brown sauce you wouldn't have if some sad sap in China was never poor enough to think: "There's protein in them thar feets." Like other poor immigrants, Fukes did what they had to do to survive, it aint their fault others choose to remember the snapshot of Fukes when they first got here and hang onto it as a stereotype.

Here is some recent animosity towards Fukes that must stop now. Just some background, this was a discussion about organizing pot luck until one participant was discovered to be Fukienese. Read from bottom to top:

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 4:29 PM:
Oh yeah, great idea, you should call it Fukienese Tossed Salad

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 4:26 PM:

Dude, what a great idea. ghetto potluck. Everyone bring leftovers and you recreate a new meal!

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 4:19 PM:

Provincial Pride! i like that. I have a large piece of steak and some check left over too. I can bring those over. It's leftover from weekend food. Both are really good.

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 3:00 PM:

Stay out of this G@#$%. It's not your fight. Go play with Bruce Lee's relatives.

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 2:57 PM Third bystander joins the attack against Fooks with killer side kick to barbecue rib:

honor - you can't have it if you can't spell it.

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 2:13 PM:

Union? HAH. We work for a living.

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 2:04 PM:

Honor of the fooks? You mean the scooter repair union right?

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 2:03 PM:

I'll be over to defend the honer of the fooks.

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 2:02 PM:

oh please, like, i'm really gonna miss chicken feet with dirt sauce on fried egg noodles

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 2:00 PM:

Please do not let me defend my fookenese people. I will shut down delivery service to your house.

On Mon, Mar 24, 2008 at 1:56 PM:

Yeah, me and george had a business meeting and then we were gonna eat, but since no meeting, we don't have to keep the fukanese people hidden anymore. feel free to come eat if you take a shower


Anonymous said...

Weren't the early Chinese immigrants to America Hoisanese? (No disrespect to them, I'm half Hoisanese). And Cantos are the spenddrifts. Fukienese are tighter than two coats of paint.

Stephanie said...

I'm a Filipina, but my fiance is Fukienese, and I can't believe that people can dislike them! They're so sweet and nice and generous; from what I've experienced, at least. If anyone were to ever bash on my hubby because he's Fukienese...I'm pretty sure I would stomp on their head.

Anonymous said...

LMAO the spearchucking Filipina is commenting about her Fook hubbie. That's rich!